Wednesday, September 12, 2007

how has this not happened.......

so today i picked up a copy of SLUG (Salt Lake Under Ground) magazine, which is a rag i aways see, but rarely grab. (mostly because i don't wear skinny jeans, have not died my hair dark, nor do i really have a great deal of angst; and am therefore not hard-core enough to be a regular reader). anyway after a short 6 pages into it, i noticed that about 30% of the ads in there were for smoke shops. this got me thinking about why there are so many smoke shops in the valley*. i mean, this is utah. do we really need 6-10 smoke shops? and why is the demand for hookahs off the charts right now? one would think after reading this magazine that hookahs are the next cabbage patch doll. this lead to a grave concern i have about all the smoke shops. they all, and i mean all, have really crappy names.
aztec highway
uprok
wizards and dreams (i bet these guys get at least 10 calls a day for dungeons and dragons crap)
knuckleheads
one stop smoke shop
smokey's
and my personal favorite..... pipe dreams.
so here is the rub. in a place where religion is so prevalent, and most the people are so over the top. why on earth, or at least "the valley" has nobody opened a shop called "holy smokes" yet? this kills me. i didn't think it possible that this brilliant name, and the vast quantity of shop owners could have somehow managed to not hook up. (at least we don't have "the hookah up". but give it time, if the crappy smoke shop name trend continues)
i don't smoke. but i would be tempted to go to that shop just by the shear factor of it's delightfully cleaver name.
who do i need to call to make this happen. it kills me.


* From now on i am officially calling salt lake as "the valley" as i just don't like to say salt lake (it sounds harsh and doesn't roll off the tongue. especially compared to "the valley") and it makes me sound local; which subsequently is why everyone should start calling it "the valley" cause i don't know why anyone would ever move here and pretty much everyone here is local anyway.)